3 things I learned about myself in 2021.
What a year! We left 2020 with a lot of hope and we weren’t disappointed. I think I used to view hope as something perfect—all ideal outcomes or nothing at all. When I couldn’t work in 2019 right after having my son because of my employment document expiring, I started learning a whole new meaning of hope. I mostly learned that I placed so much of my hope on what I could control and that’s not the hope God teaches us about. Although learning this meant I had to deal with downs as well as ups, I’m thankful. Here are 3 things I learned about myself in 2021.
1. I AM CAPABLE OF DOING WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME TO DO.
I recently had a conversation with a friend and I made a comment about myself that really resonated with me. Ever since I started college in 2010, I’ve been working nonstop and it’s never just a job. It’s my job, my business, more school, etc. I told her I don’t know how to be anything else than what I am… someone who always works. It will take quite a bit of time to get myself in a better place, but I realized that I need to change. I fully believe that I am more than capable of doing what God wants and has for me to do — that can definitely include all of these different roles, but not in the unhealthy way that I’ve been executing them. I always thought that taking better care of myself meant letting go of a few roles so I’m not overworked, but it also can mean getting extra help. If extra help isn’t feasible, it can mean spacing things out a bit further and not overpromising things [something I soooo struggle with]. I want to be super woman all the time when it comes to working because it’s become my identity, but that is not who I am. My work is not who I am. When I don’t perform, I feel like the biggest failure and it’s because it became everything to me. Only God is everything to me, and I need to be constantly reminded of that clearly lol. No more working from bed until 12am… 🥴
2. I THRIVE WHEN THERE’S A ROUTINE IN PLACE.
Ever since I had my son [Jan. 2019], I’ve been working from home. I didn’t have much of a workload that first year since things were super slow. I pretty much cleaned the house every single day lol. Then, 2020 came around and so many people pivoted and started their own business, so I was working with a lot of new clients and realized I had no routine in place. If I remember correctly, I struggled that entire year until March 2021. My son started going to school because I was back to working with UCF and freelancing, so my workload was insane. I was able to come up with a routine that worked for me and allowed me to avoid working outside of work hours. Although this wasn’t always the case, I was getting better. I feel better when I start my day reading the Bible, taking care of myself, actually eating breakfast, and tidying up the house before I dive into work. There’s nothing like a quiet house, the right playlist, and a yummy smoothie to get me in the mood to tackle my to-do list.
3. I JUST ADORE MY FAMILY
Number 3 is probably a “duh” moment, but I’ve been thinking more and more about this lately. I am just so in love with the family God blessed me with. Seeing my baby thrive and flourish in school just makes my heart so happy. Not to mention being able to witness my husband’s wins and how wonderful of a father he is to our son — I’m just so blessed. In moments of comparison, I do my best to focus on all of these blessing from God and shake any thought of jealousy or envy because it’s easy to look to what we don’t have when we see others celebrating those same things. I’m sure every one of us has gone through this before, so I won’t dwell on it. I just want to say that I truly realized how blessed I am to be where I am with my perfect little family right by my side. I feel like I can conquer anything in this crazy world, as long as I have them rocking with me!
